Dear Aaron Read online

  I’ve hijacked the conversation. Let’s get back to it before I cry again.

  No, I’m not offended by the weight question. I’m just not going to tell you how much I weigh. :) I haven’t gained it all back. The costumes came out fine. I’ve done three more since then. I’m still really far behind on my day job work though. I’ve slept about 8 hours total over the last two days.

  There are no single guys in church! What is this? The 1800s? Lol. Single men don’t go to church period, at least not any of the churches I’ve ever gone to. Give me a break. Do you know anyone who does? I bet not. I’m better off trying to pick up a single dad at my niece’s school. Now that I think about it, I could make a good stepmom.

  The worst part of everything with my mom is that I know chances are she’s going to be fine, but I still can’t help but think of the worst every night as I’m lying in bed. It’s an endless circle. My little sister doesn’t want to talk about it. She went on this long rant about how she needed to be checking her breasts every month and not waiting until her yearly mammogram to make it happen. I wanted to kill her. It’s already done. There’s nothing we can do about it. Why did she need to comment?

  Hijacking this conversation again. I’m sorry.

  Can you get in trouble with the local government for trying to take Ax?

  -Ruby

  From: [email protected]

  Date: February 22, 2009 12:01 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Stop again

  Ruby,

  Don’t cry. I tell you things I don’t even tell my best friends. Don’t tell them I ever said that. :]

  Any word on the biopsy?

  Don’t feel bad about bringing this up with me. What happened to my friends… I’m all right talking about it. You’re close to your mom. You’re going to be upset. Look, if I really thought something was going to happen to her, I’d tell you how I’ve learned to deal, so I’m not going to say anything. Be strong for her right now and the rest of you all can lean on each other.

  I’m always here to talk to if you want. You got IM or something? I have a Skype account I signed up for but never used.

  That’s good to hear you’re getting back to work. Get your day job work done when you can. They can’t expect you to be better overnight. Have you talked to your aunt with the attitude problem?

  There has to be a single man at church you can ask out. Come on. I’m not going to answer your question about knowing anyone who goes to church. What kind of guy are you looking to date anyway?

  Imagining you as a stepmom made me laugh. You’d be too busy playing with the kids to be strict. Bet.

  Your sister’s rant probably wasn’t what your mom wanted to hear. I got you. You’re worried about her because you love her. There’s nothing wrong with that. There’s no point appreciating something or someone after they’re out of your life. That always seemed pretty fake to me.

  We can take Ax out of the country. We just need to make sure not to get caught is all. :]

  Hang in there. Thinking of you all.

  -Aaron

  From: [email protected]

  Date: February 23, 2009 9:11 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Bet

  Aaron,

  You tell me not to cry, and then I cry more. It’s a curse.

  She’s fine. The lump is benign. I’ve never been so relieved in my life. I cried when she told me the good news. It felt like a hundred pounds came off my shoulders and it wasn’t even me that’s sick.

  You don’t have to call, I’m sure you have better people to call, but my number is 832-555-5555. My Skype IM name is… guess? RubyMars.

  Look, I’ll e-mail you tomorrow. Right now I’m mopey for some reason and you don’t need that. I’m going to go cry a little now in relief. Maybe I’ll play some Duck Hunt to unwind. Nothing celebrates life like picking off innocent digital ducks.

  -Ruby

  From: [email protected]

  Date: February 24, 2009 10:04 a.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Sorry for the millionth time

  Aaron,

  I’m sorry for the e-mail yesterday. I feel like I’m halfway back to normal, but thinking of my mom being sick left me with the worst stomachache. It’s easy to forget how uncertain life can be. What you said about not appreciating people until they’re gone really struck home.

  You asked what kind of guy I’d be interested in dating. I just want him to be mostly nice, funny, likes to do things with me, and be honest. And have a job. It’d be nice if he was taller than me, but it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if we were the same height. That’s not asking for much. What do you think? I know what I don’t want better than what I do.

  If I were a stepmom, I wouldn’t have to be the disciplinarian. Get it? I’d win the kids over by being the one who plays with them and is fun.

  Thanks again for putting up with my babbling and everything. I appreciate it.

  I haven’t shared a joke with you in a while. Here you go:

  What did the ocean say to the shore?

  …nothing. It just waved.

  Hope you’re okay. Give Ax a rub for me.

  -Ruby

  Chapter 10

  March

  March 3, 2009

  12:08 p.m.

  AHall80: you awake?

  RubyMars: Yes?

  RubyMars: Aaron?

  AHall80: Hey

  RubyMars: Holy crap.

  RubyMars: Hey. You caught me off guard, sorry. How are you?

  AHall80: All right… you?

  RubyMars: Still alive, I can’t complain too much. :)

  RubyMars: I can’t believe you actually messaged me.

  RubyMars: I’m still trying to catch up on some work.

  AHall80: If you’re working, I can let you go

  RubyMars: No, don’t worry about it. I’m tired and my eyes are starting to cross. I should take a break before I mess up so bad I give myself more work to do fixing it.

  RubyMars: Is this really you?

  AHall80: Yes lol :]

  AHall80: What are you working on? Costume stuff, day job, or wedding dress?

  RubyMars: Day job. Can you sense my excitement?

  AHall80: All the way over here. Got a lot left?

  RubyMars: Define a lot.

  AHall80: You got days left of work?

  RubyMars: Not as much as I should, which is stressing me out, but I think I’m just being paranoid. Who complains about not having enough work?

  RubyMars: I’m rambling. Sorry.

  AHall80: Heh. It’s all right. How you feeling?

  RubyMars: Compared to how I was feeling three weeks ago, a thousand times better. Compared to how I felt two months ago, still like crap.

  RubyMars: :)

  AHall80: You eating?

  RubyMars: Yes, Mommy Aaron. I’m back up ten pounds.

  RubyMars: Am I being too… familiar with you? I don’t want to make you feel weird.

  AHall80: No. You’re how I expected

  AHall80: You’re packing on that weight quick.

  RubyMars: ……

  AHall80: I’m messing with you. Glad you are

  AHall80: Am I being too familiar now?

  RubyMars: No, you’re just like I expected.

  RubyMars: :)

  RubyMars: How’s the constipation?

  AHall80: ….

  RubyMars: ….

  AHall80: ….

  RubyMars: No? You didn’t like that question?

  AHall80: …..

  AHall80: Did you finish your dating website profile?

  RubyMars: I’ll take it you’re still constipated.

  AHall80: Who are you?

  RubyMars: I’m tired. I haven’t been sleeping much. My sister says I get feisty when I’m tired.

  AHall80: I see. Now I know for next time. I’ll be prepared.

  AHall80: Why can’t you sleep?

&nbs
p; RubyMars: Stress from catching up. I went to bed late. The ice-skater I’m doing a dress for wanted me to personally measure her after she was done practicing for the night and didn’t want to pay for my hotel room, so I had to drive to Austin to measure her last night and drove straight home afterward. By the time I got back and managed to fall asleep, I only got a three-hour nap in before my little sister started banging on my door to get me to go have breakfast with her. I got back and went straight to work. I’m not made for early mornings.

  Ahall80: What time you usually wake up?

  RubyMars: I plead the fifth.

  Ahall80: I see how it is.

  Ahall80: I thought this was our no-judging zone.

  RubyMars: It is…

  Ahall80: Then you know I’m not going to judge you. What time do you usually get up?

  RubyMars: 11 a.m.

  Ahall80: I thought you were going say 2 p.m. or something. 11 isn’t bad.

  RubyMars: I only wake up at 2 p.m. on Sundays. :)

  AHall80: Lol. That’s more like it.

  AHall80: I’ll drop it. What’d you do for breakfast?

  RubyMars: This Mexican food place close by. I had a couple of barbacoa tacos. She annihilated two burritos on her own. I didn’t know she had that appetite in her. Maybe it’s years of watching her diet so closely that now she’s making up for it.

  AHall80: She’s still not skating?

  RubyMars: No. Her coach has been calling her every day to see when she’s going to hit the rink again, but she’s ignoring her calls.

  AHall80: You think she’s going to quit?

  RubyMars: I hope she doesn’t, but who knows. Most figure skaters have really short careers. She already started years later than the majority of them do, and I told you she’s a sore loser.

  AHall80: I thought you were gonna give her the tough-love treatment?

  RubyMars: My mom asked me not to.

  AHall80: Why?

  RubyMars: Because she thinks it might go the opposite way we want it to. I’ll make her mad and she’ll decide she really wants to quit. Then the whole dream is dead.

  AHall80: Hmm

  RubyMars: Yeah… I still think I might do it even though I’m worried, but I’m not sure I can talk crap to her. She’s just getting more and more pissy. I’d love her if she skated or if she’d didn’t, but it would be a shame if she quit. Everyone knows she has a gift that not many people have. You have to watch her skate to know that’s what she was born to do.

  RubyMars: I know that sounds corny, but it’s true.

  RubyMars: I’m rambling. Sorry. How’s Ax?

  AHall80: You’re not rambling, and I like hearing about your sister’s skating. Hope she figures it out on her own though.

  AHall80: Ax is good. She’s taking turns sleeping by all of us. I think I’m her favorite.

  RubyMars: Aww.

  AHall80: Every time I see her, she makes me smile… Didn’t realize how much I didn’t smile until she started hanging around more often

  RubyMars: Do you guys need a collar or a leash for her? I’m sorry I never got around to sending the flea shampoo, but the pneumonia…

  AHall80: Nah. Don’t worry about it. One of my PFCs had his wife send things over for her.

  RubyMars: How are the books coming along?

  AHall80: I finished all the ones you sent. I started rereading The DaVinci Code.

  RubyMars: I knew you’d like it!

  RubyMars: Barter for more books…

  AHall80: You and your bartering lol

  AHall80: I did see somebody reading The Hobbit. Maybe I’ll trade for that one.

  RubyMars: Do it.

  RubyMars: I sent you more books, but I’m not sure when everything will arrive.

  AHall80: Thanks, Rube. I appreciate it. My friends sent me a package last week. No books in it though.

  AHall80: Hey I gotta go. I’ll message you again soon.

  AHall80: Sorry for leaving so quick

  RubyMars: It’s okay. Take care!

  AHall80: Thanks

  AHall80: Bye

  March 8th

  AHall80: Hey

  RubyMars: Hey

  RubyMars: How’s it going?

  AHall80: Fine. Same old like always. You?

  RubyMars: Eh. I’ve been better, but I’m okay.

  AHall80: Eh? What’s the matter?

  RubyMars: I got fired yesterday.

  AHall80: What?

  AHall80: From where?

  RubyMars: From the dry cleaner place.

  AHall80: Why? I thought your aunt was your boss.

  RubyMars: She is.

  RubyMars: Was. You know what I mean.

  RubyMars: She fired me.

  AHall80: Why? Because you got sick?

  AHall80: I thought it was the other aunt you have beef with?

  RubyMars: Sort of. Remember how I told you I was worried about being far behind on work, how she’d gotten someone else to do alterations while I’d been sick… and then how she hadn’t given me as much as she usually does recently? I thought I was being crazy, but it turns out she ended up finding someone else to “help” and this person is cheaper than me…

  AHall80: So she fired you.

  RubyMars: And that other aunt still wants me to work for her, but she’s being so mean. She’s worse than the jackass boyfriends my friends have dated in the past who try to do messed-up reverse psychology on them to get what they want. I’m trying not to even think about her right now. It’s making me really upset.

  RubyMars: I cried. Again.

  RubyMars: How does my own aunt fire me?? She said she felt bad but that “it’s business.” My mom is pretty pissed. She called her brother (that aunt’s husband) and ripped him a new one over the “she-monster” he married.

  AHall80: Rubes. That sucks. I’m sorry.

  RubyMars: I’m sorry too. It’s the only job I’ve ever had. Plus, it really hurt my feelings she just kicked me to curb like that as soon as I delivered the last of the garments she’d left me to alter. It was like she thought I wouldn’t finish my work or I’d do a crappy job if she’d told me before. I wouldn’t ever do that.

  RubyMars: I get it’s a business decision, but :( :( :(

  AHall80: Nah. She’s your aunt, and you said you’ve worked for her since you were what? 16? Seems harsh to me too. It’s not like you chose to get sick.

  AHall80: You need to do something about your other aunt too.

  RubyMars: Yeah. My whole family is boycotting ever seeing her family again. That makes me feel a little better, but not much.

  AHall80: They should. I would.

  AHall80: Don’t think I didn’t notice you ignored my comment about your wedding aunt. You need to tell her something. Or tell your mom or your dad, whoever is the one related to her, to tell her to cut it out if you don’t want to be the one to say anything. But you should.

  RubyMars: I know I should, but...

  RubyMars: I really hate confrontations.

  RubyMars: My whole body starts to shake, my stomach hurts, I get nauseous, things start to feel funny.

  AHall80: You’re going to make yourself sick trying to make her happy when she doesn’t seem to deserve you being loyal to her with that attitude. What’ll be worse? Pissing her off or you sweating over making her happy for the rest of your life?

  RubyMars: …

  AHall80: …

  AHall80: Think about it, all right?

  RubyMars: All right. :)

  AHall80: Any idea what you’re gonna do now?

  RubyMars: No clue.

  RubyMars: My mom’s husband says the company they work for is hiring entry-level positions. That’s an option.

  AHall80: Where do they work?

  RubyMars: An accounting firm.

  AHall80: ….

  RubyMars: …

  AHall80: ….

  RubyMars: …what?

  AHall80: You’re just going to quit?

  RubyMars: I don’t want to.

  AHall80
: Then why are you considering it?

  RubyMars: Because it isn’t like it’s easy to find a job opening for what I do.

  RubyMars: I sound like a whiney baby. I’m sorry. I’m only a baby, not a whiney one. I’m so frustrated right now. I don’t want to give up what I do, and I’m mad at myself. I know I can do something that makes me more money. I wasn’t making bank before, but I like what I do. I’ve looked through the paper and Craigslist for openings but haven’t found anything that pays even a dollar more than minimum wage. I haven’t made that little since I was sixteen.

  AHall80: You’re not being a whiney baby.

  AHall80: Maybe a little :]

  RubyMars: :)

  AHall80: You said you have money in savings?

  RubyMars: Yeah, but not much.

  AHall80: For how long?

  RubyMars: 2 months if I don’t change any spending habits. I can make it stretch longer if I have to.

  AHall80: So don’t rush into a job we both know you’re going to hate.

  AHall80: Can you try and get more ice-skating work?

  RubyMars: I can try. I was limiting myself on how much I take on because of the day job. I was thinking about starting to run ads with a faster turn-around time, but that’ll cost me money to front. My brother’s boyfriend asked me to make his dog a rain jacket and some bandanas in the meantime because he felt bad after he heard what happened. He was here when my mom was on the phone with my uncle.

  AHall80: Have you made dog clothes before?