Dear Aaron Read online

  From: [email protected]

  Date: September 8, 2008 2:17 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: Texas and Nicknames

  Ruby,

  Were you paired up with your other soldiers their whole deployment? The other family I have in the program writes me every week. I think HaS hasn’t had as many soldiers signing up this year like they have in the past and that’s why some of us have multiple families that write us… not that I’m complaining.

  I was born and raised in Louisiana, but I’ve moved around a lot since enlisting. Been to Texas a few times with friends.

  My best friends call me asswipe.

  I’ll stick with calling you Ruby, if that’s all right.

  Here are the answers to your questions.

  If it wasn’t for video games, half my platoon would be bored out of their minds. Somebody here is always having a Halo tournament.

  I have one sister and one brother.

  Favorite movies… I like 80s action films, but I’m not picky. I’ll watch anything. What about you?

  Hope to hear from you soon.

  -A

  From: [email protected]

  Date: September 12, 2008 12:05 a.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Movies and Stuff

  Dear Aaron,

  Before you, one of the soldiers finished his tour and went home. We were paired up for eleven months. The other one… I had to ask HaS to switch us. Things got weird. That’s great you have more people messaging you. I was talking to someone I know about the pen pal thing with the military and they told me that there’s a lot more dating websites for military personnel and civilians than there used to be. I bet that might be why there are less soldiers signing up. Don’t take my word for it.

  Where in Louisiana are you from if you don’t mind me asking? It’s okay if you don’t want to answer that.

  Ruby is fine.

  80s action movies like what exactly? Jean-Claude? Arnold? Steven? I’m not judging, just asking.

  My favorite movies? That’s a tough one. I’ve watched the original Cleopatra a hundred times, Alien a thousand times, Beetlejuice a million, and the Star Wars trilogy even more. You?

  Do you guys play anything besides Halo?

  One sister and brother sound nice. I have two sisters and two brothers.

  Here are more questions for you:

  Pretzels or chips?

  Summer sports or winter sports?

  Dogs or cats?

  Wishing you the best,

  Ruby

  From: [email protected]

  Date: September 17, 2008 1:17 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: Movies and Stuff

  Ruby,

  Weird how?

  I’ve seen a lot of ads about those dating sites. I bet that might be why there are less, never really thought about it I guess.

  I lived in Shreveport until I was eighteen. You been there?

  All of the actors you mentioned in movies… You also missed Bruce.

  There’s a movie about Cleopatra? I haven’t heard of that one.

  The three games we have on repeat are Halo 3, Rock Band and Bioshock. Call of Duty and Guitar Hero are runners up.

  Here are the answers to your questions.

  Chips, but not Fritos. Salt and vinegar mostly.

  You said before winter sports—why? I like summer sports, I guess. We don’t have a lot of winter sports in Louisiana. I played ball in HS.

  Dogs, but I got you on the mini pigs from the e-mail we’re pretending didn’t happen… they’re cute. My dad has a king shepherd back home. Love that dog.

  Four siblings sounds… interesting. You all close?

  Talk to you soon.

  -A

  From: [email protected]

  Date: September 20, 2008 2:05 a.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Video Games, Siblings, etc.

  Dear Aaron,

  About my other soldier pairing: weird like weird. It was inappropriate and… weird. LOL. I’ll tell you if you really want to know.

  I can’t say I’ve ever been to Shreveport. I’ve been to NOLA once for Mardi Gras, and driven through Louisiana on vacation but only stopped for gas. Once in New Orleans was good enough for me.

  How could I miss Bruce? The number of times I’ve seen Lethal Weapon is in the double digits. My mom calls him her boyfriend. Cleopatra is an old movie. It’s a classic from the 60s. The costumes were amazing. That’s why I’ve seen it so many times.

  Halo and Bioshock I get. Rock Band though?

  What kind of ball did you play in high school? The only sport I ever watch is figure skating. I’m not into any other sports unless watching Friday Night Lights counts. (That’s a TV show.)

  I had to look up what a king shepherd was. I’ve only heard of German shepherds. What’s his/her name? As much as I love mini pigs, the only pet I have is a ferret named Sylvester.

  My brothers, sisters and me all get along really well. I say this, but tomorrow I’ll complain about how one of them did something to make me mad. You’re probably familiar with that, and if you’re not, consider yourself lucky.

  Do you want me to keep asking you random questions? Is there anything you’d want me to tell you about? Or talk about? I’m a good listener. Whatever you want.

  Or do you want more jokes? You tell me.

  Hope you’re doing okay.

  Best wishes,

  Ruby

  From: [email protected]

  Date: September 22, 2008 3:17 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: Video Games, Siblings, Etc.

  Ruby,

  Now I really want to know what happened with that soldier you were paired with. You’ve got me imagining things.

  I’ve never been to NOLA for Mardi Gras…

  I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic about Lethal Weapon or not, but I’m going to guess you’re not. Cleopatra still doesn’t ring a bell, but I haven’t watched any classics either. The only classic I can think of is Gone with the Wind, and that’s only because my stepmom used to watch it at least once a month… I hated it. You’re into costumes in movies?

  You know what Bioshock is? You said you played Duck Hunt before so that’s what I was expecting. You into gaming?

  I played football. Not because I loved it… or thought I was going pro or anything like that, but it was something to do.

  Figure skating is the only sport you watch? Does that count as a sport? Hockey, yeah. Figure skating, no. Why? I’ve never watched Friday Night Lights the show before but I watched the movie.

  Aries is the dog’s name. If I wasn’t in the army, I’d bring him to live with me, but I’m gone too much… It wouldn’t be fair to him.

  Why’d you name your ferret Sylvester?

  I get the sibling thing. We all get along. I don’t see them much, so that’s probably why. You said you’re almost the baby, how old are the rest of your brothers/sisters?

  You can talk to me about anything. My other pairings in the program write to me about their lives and their kids. It’s just nice to have an escape sometimes, anything is welcome even if you think it’s boring because it’s probably not compared to things here.

  Do you have kids?

  I shared your jokes with some of the guys in my squad. Feel free to send more. You can message me about whatever though.

  Can I ask why you’re always awake in the middle of the night?

  -A

  From: [email protected]

  Date: September 24, 2008 3:05 a.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Hi Part 2

  Hi Aaron,

  I’ll tell you what happened with the other soldier if you insist. He started sending me “crotch” shots (or if you want to be technical, the words I’m looking for rhyme with “tick licks”), and asking for some
in return (not “tick” pics but you know what I mean). There’s only so much I’m willing to do for my country. Nudies isn’t one of them. Please excuse me for talking about private parts. You asked.

  You’re smarter than I am. Mardi Gras was an experience I’d be fine not ever reliving. I thought I had an idea of what to expect. I didn’t.

  I don’t know who would have the nerve to be sarcastic about Lethal Weapon, but it wouldn’t be me. My mom would beat me. I’ll second your hate for Gone with the Wind. I hated the plot and the characters, too, but I liked the wardrobe. And yes, I like movies with great costumes and makeup. I’ll tell you two things about Cleopatra: it’s one of the most expensive movies ever made and the main actress had 65 costume changes. Crazy, huh? (You don’t have to answer that. I know not everyone thinks that kind of thing is interesting and that’s okay.)

  Lol! Duck Hunt is my favorite, but I’ve played Bioshock a few times before. Two of my friends are real gamers—one likes PC gaming and the other console gaming—so I know a little.

  What’s wrong with figure skating? They wouldn’t have it at the Olympics if it wasn’t a sport. They’re really athletic. You should probably know my little sister is a figure skater, that’s why I’m into it. It’s the Santos family official sport.

  Aries is such a perfect name for a king shepherd. Did you choose it or did your dad?

  I had to change my ferret’s name after two months because his original name, Logan, wasn’t cutting it. He didn’t have a “Logan” personality. He’s a mess. Ferrets have a lot more personality than you’d imagine.

  My oldest brother is 29, then there’s my sister who is 26, my other brother is 25, then there’s me at 23, and my little sister is 18. Do you miss your brother and sister while you’re gone?

  Getting to know someone is always a little strange, but I’m sure we’ll figure this out. I don’t really do much. I work, watch TV, and go out to do random things with my friends or family a few times a week. I travel with my little sister sometimes and for work every once in a while, but not that often.

  You can ask me just about anything that you think of, if you think of anything.

  I don’t have kids yet, but hopefully one day in the future I will. Do you?

  I have a good joke for you:

  Grandson: Were you in the war, Grandpa?

  Grandpa: Yes, I was a fighter pilot.

  Kid’s mom: Weren’t you stationed in Illinois, Dad?

  Grandpa: Yes, and I’ll have you know not one enemy aircraft got passed Missouri!

  Good in a cheesy way, right?

  Last but not least, before you fall asleep from boredom, I’m a night owl and do my best work then, that’s why I’m up late every night.

  Best wishes,

  Ruby

  From: [email protected]

  Date: September 27, 2008 2:14 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: Hi Part 2

  Ruby,

  Let me get this straight. The soldier before me was sending you pictures of his “tick”? How did that even get started? Would it make it any better if I told you that your country appreciates your dedication, nudies or not? … that was supposed to be a joke.

  What happened at Mardi Gras? You’ve got me imagining different scenarios again and it could be any of them… Most of them aren’t good. There’s a reason I’ve never been.

  Cleopatra is one of the most expensive movies ever made? When I first read the 65 costume change thing it didn’t seem that… cool… but now that I’m thinking about it, that’s a lot of costumes, and they weren’t jeans and a T-shirt I’m guessing.

  Don’t get me started on gaming. I needed an intervention to get me off WoW … World of Warcraft… on my last long leave. I didn’t leave my spot in front of the computer for two weeks unless it was to use the bathroom or grab food. You ever played it?

  Your sister’s a figure skater? Like the ones on TV at the Olympics?

  My ex-stepmom named Aries. She used to teach mythology and folklore.

  Why’d you name your ferret Logan? For Wolverine?

  You’re only 23? I thought you were older. Ten years between the oldest and youngest isn’t so bad. Did you drive your parents crazy? I do miss mine but not that much. I’m the middle one.

  I’m sure your life is a hell of a lot more interesting than mine. For real. It’s the same thing every day. Work, eat, work out, sleep, video games.

  I don’t have any kids either. Are you married? Don’t mean to sound like Soldier #2, just curious since you said you hoped to have some.

  That joke… :] Cheesy good.

  What do you do for a living where you can stay up all night?

  -A

  From: [email protected]

  Date: September 30, 2008 1:05 a.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Tick Licks and Other Nosey Stuff

  Hi Aaron,

  Of course you want the story behind the dick pics. (Excuse my French.) I don’t really know how we even got to that point in our e-mails. I’ll call Solder #2 “Smith.” Smith and I had been e-mailing each other for about five months when he first started sending me pictures of himself. No biggie. He’d always been nothing but polite, asking me questions about myself, normal getting-to-know-you stuff. About two months after he started with the headshots, he started sending me some full body pictures that were a little funny in not a good way. I didn’t say anything. The next thing I knew, I had a version of half-mast on my cell phone screen. Then, I had the full sausage and eggs, if you get my drift. No thank you. I would rather volunteer as a nurse on the front lines than send some random guy a picture of my no-no parts.

  I already told you about the soldier, you tell me what you think happened at Mardi Gras, and I’ll confirm or deny.

  The only movies I can think of that have been more expensive are Titanic, Pirates of the Caribbean, Waterworld and Spiderman. Those all came out thirty years after Cleopatra did. Crazy, huh? You’re right, none of the costumes were jeans and T-shirts. They were all really intricate. I want to say I read somewhere they spent almost two hundred thousand dollars just on her wardrobe alone.

  Have I ever played WoW? I led my own WoW guild when I was 18, thank you very much. I finally had to go cold turkey my second semester in college because I started to see I was going to fail if I didn’t get my shit together. MMORPGs are dangerous. I can’t even look at the game in stores without starting to itch. I can relate to Smeagol’s obsession a little too well. No joke. (Smeagol is a character off Lord of the Rings, FYI.)

  My sister is trying to eventually qualify for the Olympics. She’s won a bronze medal at a major junior competition two years in a row. She didn’t start skating until she was nine, and most that go professional get on the ice when they’re barely learning how to walk, so you can say we all think she’s pretty amazing for going so far in such a short time. I could talk all day about her, if you can’t tell.

  In high school, we spent a whole semester on Greek mythology in English. I still remember a lot of it. I read a lot, too.

  I didn’t name him after the X-Men. Logan is a character on one of my favorite TV shows, Veronica Mars.

  How old are your siblings? Do they still live in Louisiana? You’re right, five kids in ten years is a lot. I don’t know how my mom survived, but I feel like that’s part of the reason why her and my dad’s marriage didn’t make it. They could never agree on how to deal with us. My mom is bananas too.

  How old did you think I was…? How old are you?

  As boring as your life may or may not be, if you ever need to vent with someone, I’m here. I’ll keep my judging to a minimum.

  I have one niece. I’m not married, but I do have a boyfriend. The whole having-kids thing is a dream for some time in the future, but I’m not rushing or anything. I want to have four. Are you married?

  What do I do for a living? I’m a seamstress. My aunt is a manager at a dry cleaning place, and I get a l
ot of alteration work from her. (A LOT.) I have another aunt who owns her own bridal shop, and I help her out there, too. I’ve done wedding dresses, sweet sixteen and quinceañera dresses… If anything needs to be sewn and made, I can and have done it more than likely. I do freelance work too, costumes and things like that, but that isn’t steady. Apart from two days a week where my aunt with the bridal shop asks me to come in to help out, I can work any time I want. It’s nice, but I don’t sleep much.

  How long have you been in the military?

  Best wishes,

  Ruby

  Chapter 5