Dear Aaron Read online

  Jasmine is still sulking, but we’ve only gone to a Chinese buffet once lately, and when we went to the soft serve ice-cream section, she only had one cone. My goal is to talk so much smack to her, she gets riled up and starts skating again to spite me. I don’t really want to do that because I’m not good at talking bad to anyone, but I don’t know how else to get to her. I hope I don’t regret this decision. I’ll let you know how it goes.

  I’m excited for you getting to take leave. Are you going to make any solid plans other than taking plenty of showers?

  I’m starting to feel pretty crappy, sorry if this message is short. Hopefully it isn’t food poisoning.

  Hope you’re okay.

  -Ruby

  From: [email protected]

  Date: December 31, 2008 5:05 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: HI

  Happy New Year, Aaron! :)

  -Rube

  Chapter 8

  January

  January 7, 2009

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 7, 12:01 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Stuff

  Ruby,

  I can’t wait until I’m out of here... It’s finally hitting me hard. This happens every tour, but this time it’s worse than usual and happening earlier. Everyone’s been on edge lately. We got woke up two days ago when someone started shouting by the tents in the middle of the night. A soldier had his AR with him and was pacing… ranting and yelling… crying…. I don’t know how to describe what it was like exactly. Scary if I’m going to be honest. Everybody’s cried at least once when they’re out here… It’s just the way it works. When the homesickness gets bad or when things are happening back home, that’s “normal,” but not like that. Not like that soldier. Like there’s no hope left. I don’t know. I could go the rest of my life without seeing that happen again. It really fucks with my head seeing in person how close everybody can be to reaching that breaking point when you’re out here… you try not to think about it, but it happens. You’re fine until… you’re not. And you always kind of worry and wonder if it’ll happen to you.

  I can tell you’re trustworthy, Ru. :]

  I haven’t contacted my exes. Chances are I won’t. I’ve thought about it. I don’t want to spend my time calling them because I don’t have any other way of communicating. I doubt I scarred any of them. It wasn’t like we were in love or anything.

  ^^^Does that sound like a shit excuse?

  What’s wrong with meeting a guy at church?

  Like I told you, just because I’m done doesn’t mean you need to be. Maybe you’ll find a good relationship. I hope you do.

  If you wouldn’t mind sending some flea shampoo, I can pay you back when I get home on break. I’d ask a friend, but it’d be a month before they got around to it.

  Your entire family is out of control. Who brings jello shots to Christmas and then gets drunk? For real, I think I was jealous for a sec. The picture of your brother was hilarious. Did you that draw the “tick” on his face?

  Talking bad to your sister is how you get her to do things? I can see someone with a strict diet taking their anger out on food.

  I just want to do a whole lot of nothing for those two weeks of RR leave. I want to take a real vacation once I’m back home for good.

  I hope you’re feeling better.

  -Aaron

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 14, 2009 1:11 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Hey

  Ruby,

  I haven’t heard from you. You all right?

  -A

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 18, 2009 2:09 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Hey

  Ruby,

  Everything good?

  -Aaron

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 22, 2009 1:55 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Please read

  Ruby,

  If I did or said something to make you mad, I’m sorry. At least let me know you’re all right.

  -A

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 23, 2009 12:44 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: Please read

  Sorry for scaring you. I’m really sick but mostly alive. Dropped my phone in the toilet on New Year’s and hadn’t gotten a new one.

  Happy belated 29th birthday. I meant to send you a message but hope you understand.

  -R

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 24, 2009 12:58 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Finally

  I was worried. What happened?

  Don’t worry about it. Thank you. I don’t make a big deal about it.

  -Aaron

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 25, 2009 1:05 a.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Dying a Little

  A cold turned into bronchitis then pneumonia. I know I’ll live, but it doesn’t feel like it. Feels like I died and somebody did a Buffy and pulled me back from the dead but only halfway.

  Really sorry for scaring you. I’ve been too sick to do anything and my phone busting didn’t help. Finally got my sister to go buy me a new one.

  Missed our e-mails. Hope you’re okay.

  -R

  P.S. ^^ Buffy from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 27, 2009 2:22 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Not allowed

  Ruby,

  I’ve missed hearing from you too. I thought I did something to make you not want to write anymore.

  How do you get bronchitis and pneumonia? Did you go to the doctor?

  Hang in there. Sorry you’re feeling so bad.

  -A

  P.S. I know who Buffy is. I watched it a few times. She was hot.

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 27, 2009 5:55 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: Not allowed

  A,

  You didn’t do anything wrong. Even typing this exhausts me. I’m so weak. Lost fifteen pounds. Everything hurts.

  Don’t know what got me sick, but I waited too long to go to the doctor. My whole family was worried I would die in my sleep.

  Are you okay?

  -Ruby

  P.S. She was hot.

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 28, 2009 12:18 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: RE: Not allowed

  Ruby,

  How do you lose 15 pounds in a month? That’s a lot of weight. You’re not helping me worry about you any less with your “they were all worried I would die in my sleep” BS.

  I’m fine. Same old crap as usual. I’m too busy wondering how you’re doing. Can’t you die from pneumonia?

  Eat chicken noodle soup and drink a lot of water.

  -Aaron

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 28, 2009 3:28 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: RE: RE: Not allowed

  My brother the marine has been calling me Skeletor. You know how some people say they could afford to lose ten pounds? I could’ve done maybe ten. Not fifteen. The scariest part is I’m not hungry. I’m always hungry.

  I told you my family is overprotective. They’re all worry warts. Any time I get sick, they all try to stand vigil. They were trying to get me to wear a mask… in my room.

  You can die from pneumonia if you’re older or don’t get treatment. Don’t worry. I’m taking my medicine and trying everything everyone is telling me to do to boost my immune system. It just feels
like I’m starting at -100 now. Got out of breath going downstairs. I’ve been brushing my teeth sitting down. Pathetic.

  My brother’s boyfriend has brought over chicken noodle soup twice. Organic everything. No wonder I love him.

  How’s Ax?

  Aren’t you going on leave soon?

  -R

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 31, 2009 12:01 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: EAT

  Ruby,

  Your brother calling you Skeletor isn’t helping any. You eating now?

  Wear a mask in your room? Really? Are they like that with everyone or just you?

  Is there anything I can do?

  Ax is fine. I’m sending you a pic. She looks like a new dog. She slept with me last night.

  I’m supposed to be leaving next week, but I’m not holding my breath. I won’t believe it until I’m on the transport. I’ve got this feeling… We’ll see.

  -Aaron

  P.S. Eat something.

  P.P.S Eat a lot of something… anything.

  From: [email protected]

  Date: January 31, 2009 4:05 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Not Hungry

  My appetite isn’t totally back but it’s getting there. I had toast twice today. I’d step on a scale, but I don’t want to. Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay.

  Yes, wear a mask, lol. No, they’re only like that with me. It makes me feel special sometimes… at least not when it drives me crazy. I had to take medicine for a while. I had surgery a few years ago and that just made them more watchful and worrisome. I’m fine, but… I can’t cough without one of them freaking out. I’m not complaining, I swear. I’m lucky they love me and care.

  Writing me when you can is good enough. It keeps me company since I can’t do anything except marathon shows my brothers have on DVD.

  Ax looks like a brand-new dog. She’s so cute. Send more pictures.

  I hope you get your leave. If I don’t hear from you until you get back, have fun and enjoy your plumbing.

  -Ruby

  P.S. I put some butter on the toast.

  Chapter 9

  February

  From: [email protected]

  Date: February 4, 2009 2:38 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Toast and Superman

  Ruby,

  Still here. They’re telling me I can leave in three days. We’ll see.

  I’m going to worry about you “almost dying.” Who else would send me pizza materials? :]

  You’re celebrating toast? I’m shaking my head right now. Find some vegetables or fruit at least.

  What did you need to take medicine for and what kind of surgery did you have? Don’t think I didn’t notice you being vague again. That never means anything good.

  When I’m the one entertaining you and it isn’t the other way around, that’s sad as hell. There’s nothing new or interesting happening over here. Last night, some of the men in my tent talked about who would win in a fight, Superman or Jesus, for an hour. I couldn’t sleep, and I ended up thinking about that for too long.

  Did you have to push back all your dress/costume making and sewing stuff?

  More Ax pics attached. She’s one of the few things making me smile here.

  -A

  P.S. At least put some cream cheese on your toast. Calories, girl.

  From: [email protected]

  Date: February 5, 2009 5:05 a.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: RE: Toast and Superman

  Aaron,

  Still there?

  I walked downstairs twice today. That’s an improvement. I’ve had two pieces of toast with butter and some chunkier soup. Happy? :)

  I’ll make sure to leave a note in my imaginary will that someone in my family keep sending you pizza materials in the case of my demise.

  …I was being vague on purpose. How you could tell through a message is a little amazing, to be honest. I don’t usually tell everyone about my health, but that’s only because I worry people will react the same way my family does, and like I said, it isn’t that it isn’t great but… I sound like a whiney baby. I had a heart disorder. I had surgery for it a few years ago. I’m fine now. :)

  Superman versus Jesus. I’ve never paired them up. (It’s blasphemy, but Superman would win, wouldn’t he?) My brother told me when he’d have trouble falling asleep, he’d stay up counting all the aircraft that flew over the camp. Have you done that before?

  All my designs on my own were moved back or canceled. You should have read some of the rude messages I got from a few of the skating moms that were “understanding.” You’d figure that I intentionally got sick and wanted to miss out on making money. My alteration work through the dry cleaner had to go through someone else, and my aunt with the bridal shop… she chewed me out. I’m trying really hard not to think about how much money I lost, but it’s hard and it makes me panic. I felt really bad about letting everyone down. When I give someone my word, I try to keep it.

  Thank you for the pics of Ax. I’m going to print out the one of her on top of the big tractor tire and frame it. It’s beautiful.

  Hope the mosquitoes and mice are treating you well. :)

  -Ruby

  P.S. I put butter. Real butter, not the fake stuff. Good?

  From: [email protected]

  Date: February 8, 2009 12:45 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: Sometimes I wonder

  Ruby,

  Still here….

  You’re being vague again, Rube. A heart disorder and you had surgery? If that’s all you want to tell me, it’s all right. I know it isn’t my business. But if you do want to tell me, I’d like to know. I searched for heart problems and there’s… a lot of them. Kind of wish I wouldn’t have done that now.

  At this point, I hope you’ve walked further than just downstairs and eaten more than soup. The Internet was down for a little while and we got sent out on a patrol.

  Make sure whoever inherits me sends books too.

  ^^^You know I’m messing with you, yeah?

  Superman all the way… but some guys put up some good points on Jesus to be fair. We’re both going down if it’s blasphemy. Down, get it? Heh.

  The aircrafts constantly going over the camp is unreal. You have to learn to zone them out, otherwise you’d never stop counting them or get sleep. They’re always there. Literally always.

  Do you have money saved? Can you borrow some from your family if you needed? Tell those moms to leave you alone. If you cough all over their dresses, you’ll get their kids sick… then they can’t skate. Your aunt has no business giving you hell over not being able to work on dresses for her. Didn’t you say she already makes you do a lot more than you should?

  I’m keeping the mosquitoes fed and Ax is keeping the mice away. She tries to play with them.

  -Aaron

  P.S. Stress isn’t good for you recovering. Just saying.

  From: [email protected]

  Date: February 9, 2009 11:11 p.m.

  To: [email protected]

  Subject: How did you do tours without my e-mails? Kidding.

  Aaron,

  I’m sorry for not telling you everything. It’s a touchy subject. I guess I just didn’t want you to think of me any differently. Not that you would, but… I’m sorry. I had no right to expect that. If you were the one who’d had surgery, I would want to know everything too.

  Here’s the story. I used to get dizzy and lightheaded when I was younger, and my heart would start beating really fast. I didn’t say anything for a while. Young and dumb, I know you know what I mean. :) I finally told my mom one day about it, and they took me to the doctor and did some tests. You’re not supposed to feel that way when you’re a kid, apparently. It turned out I have this syndrome called Wolff-Parkinson-White. T
o make a long story short, I had an extra electrical pathway between the upper and lower chambers of my heart. There’s a node that’s bypassed because of the pathway and it caused my heart to beat fast. I took a beta blocker for a while to deal with it, but a few years ago, I had surgery to fix it. Everything went fine. I’m okay. I should be okay from now on. My mom blamed herself for not knowing. Remember I told you her mom died before I was born? She had sudden cardiac death and the doctors think she might have had the same thing as me and never got treated for it. That’s why they all freak out over my health, even if it isn’t anything to do with the old ticker.